What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dick very happy bro
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
