the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Randomize
