So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
