Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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