This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
