no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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