Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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