i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
