That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
