do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize