shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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