I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
