my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Farmville is her only friend.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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