everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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