He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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