Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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