If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize