there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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