This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Did you just see the Batmobile???
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
