He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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