okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
