Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
So many bounce houses so little time
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
