Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
