I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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