We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
