You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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