dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
