In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
