JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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