i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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