I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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