it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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