you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
