you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
