Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
When did angry sex become our thing?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
