Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
