he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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