i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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