so explain again why im purple
no
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
