Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
