How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
