I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
