When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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