I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
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