I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
