I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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