he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize