You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
