problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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