your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
