at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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