I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
