I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
