Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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