Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
