There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
